updates

10/1/2026: written 4 pages of lyrics for this one song, cant tell which order i want it to go in, cant tell which song i want to put out first; if i want to put out a cover instead? cant tell a lot of things, but im sick and these fevers im in make me think a lot of good things. past that, its like nothing holds me back or down except for this cold. i keep reading, i keep forgetting, and then i remember exactly what i need. im confusing myself in the best ways cus ive realized it doesnt matter if it overflows or is kept as separates, its just there and it can move around on its own. if anything, its the best thing for me to lose control

4/1/2026: soon gonna send out my 1st mail to my subscribers (you can subscribe here) .... ☺
its 2026 and ive promised myself to not get into a halt w/ releasing, however i do explain in the mail why i cant release this song as easily as the others - but i did wanna share a snippet of it, and ill go back to working on my first pop song instead.

24/12/2025: i'm digitalizing my baby videos from the camcorder, took me a while to figure it out but it works now; i havent seen these videos before, and baby/toddler me so far (only gone through tape 1) is so cute and very weird? maybe its normal toddler behavior tho, idk. i had a habit of squealing a lot, dancing a ton in front of the tv whilst grabbing my dress n trying to make it twirl, when im not chewing on it. its funny cus one of the videos is me on my birthday and im clearly displeased with every gift, which one of my mom's friends says as well. its emotional looking through these, i have a lot more to go through.

19/12/2025: im too sensitive today. edit later: i just found out they're removing she-ra from netflix?? the show that made me name myself Catra... r they serious

16/12/2025: from geegtards quote page, it hit me hard and i wanna remember it:
"Meaning is assigned once an inspired idea is followed through. It's best to wait until a work is complete to discover what it is saying. Holding your work hostage to meaning is a limitation. Works that attempt to overtly preach a message often don't connect as hoped while a piece not intended to address a societal ill may become an anthem for a revolutionary cause. Art is far more powerful than our plans for it."

15/12/2025: waxed my forehead cus i wanted it bigger, and i rly like it! i just cant decide what shape of hairline i want rn so one side is round, the other is sharp... hmm. and i still have plenty of baby hair, i look crazy

14/12/2025: annoyed. some ppl should just grow a brain before they try to use it.
also, i must live in london. i have 0 plans for it rn, but i wanna say it (as if i havent mentioned it 10 times before).

8/12/2025: i never really talk about this, but i started writing a pop song for fun... and it got a bit wlw, and im feeling sick by the idea of my family finding it. to release smth like that and give them proof, when im not even in a safe living situation; like it makes me paranoid, obviously? i'd feel stupid af.
is it rly that smart to release it, cus what about that small chance, or should i just live in my bubble to the fullest?

7/12/2025: didnt expect to write 3 choruses for one song; cant pick which i want n what should be a verse. my experimental self would make them all a different chorus each time, but im actually trying to make a less experimental song... so im not gonna do that w this one

5/12/2025: i want to try and make a pop song

26/11/2025: i bought something expensive and stupid and i'm gonna get in trouble

25/11/2025: hold AWN!? i started a tiktok right, and i searched myself in the searchbar and it only shows tiktoks of people talking about being needy and ovulating?????
what the fuck.
what the fuck. now im nervous, have ppl (not on tiktok, im not getting searches) but ppl on here and online, have they thought that was the connotation with the name "beingofheat"?!?!?!? i swear on my life and everyone i love its not, what the heck have i done omg. i must sound like a horny maniac, i just love fire and being warm, that was the inspo and meaning of my name :sob: what the heckkkkkkkkkkkkuuuuuuuuuuuuuhhhhhhhhh

23/11/2025: wow i was so busy yesterday i didnt even blog to give my thoughts on my release.
ppl have only been sweet, its crazy - thank u all on here (and outsiders) sm. i got compliments that i had to screenshot cus i couldnt believe my eyes :')

also, posted my first tiktok yesterday and part of me is happy no one has seen it n part of me not, cus holyyyy shit - it's kinda embarrassing when it shouldnt feel like that? i have to get used to it.

20/11/2025: i have a bad habit of comparing myself from time to time and i'm feeling rly sad rn.
later: i'm so HAPPY. i'm done mastering!!!!! sending it through my distributor now - along with as if. some ppl told me they didnt have soundcloud and i thought why not just put it on there with Caldera instead of never? i'm gonna have so much FREEDOM creating fun things on my website finally, art yada yada although i'm shit at song art but its whatever atp

18/11/2025: grrr... it's fucking criminal of my brother to make me sick now, i can feel the symptoms already........ 2 months in a row mind u

17/11/2025: song currently taking up 20gb, largest one so far

16/11/2025: my face is so so cold

15/11/2025: mmmm i just love waking up to the sound of my parents being misogynistic towards women who are tomboyish through the walls! just the best.

14/11/2025: 3rd night in a row that i cant sleep, never suffered this bad. its 5am rn, i went to bed at 11am yday..... im so hungry too, i should just eat.

11/11/2025: i decided to not put Caldera out today; it felt too rushed n too unfinished for a song i like this much to just be put out. ill release smth 11/11 next year thats going to be sick.
anyways..... so its coming out 22/11 instead, thats a satisfying date too.... mhm..
extra: this site is clearly a work in progress, and im having so much fun with it now

7/11/2025: not done with Caldera at all; need to finish recording vocals, need to finish mixing vocals, need to finish mixing all the instruments and what not, i wanna add more fx, need to master it.... comes out 11/11 somehow???